Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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