You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
