absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
