Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
