I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
