the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i think i scared a bird with my dick
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
