What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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