I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
