i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
