Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
