Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
