Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
