Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
