So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
