Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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