Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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