im drinking this country out of the recession.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
