I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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