I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
