Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
