Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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