I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
