Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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