You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
