never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
