addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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