out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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