And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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