i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
