chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize