I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
