Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
