my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Alive.
So much puke
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
