I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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