alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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