I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
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