You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
