weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
