I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
