Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
