ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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