this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
