is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
