they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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