i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
