I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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