I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
