I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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