There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
