She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
