After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize