I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I have tasted many bathrooms
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
