well most of my day revolves around power hour
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
