let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
