Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
