It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
