My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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