Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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