i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
