I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
