ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
