dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
