Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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